Mars vs Earth: President Obama, Candidates Clinton and Trump, World Leaders address July 4th Dilemma.

At midnight on July 4, 2016, twenty six cities across America were attacked. We have not yet determined how many human beings have died, but we know the death toll is significant. This wave of mayhem started over the central United States and spread like wildfire in all directions. World reports have revealed that other countries were hit even worse. Other countries have completely stopped the attacks and repelled the alien invaders, but America is still dealing with these powerful beings. To determine how other countries have stopped the attacks, the Biblical Constitution was able to secure a codified report of five leading nations. It is important to first understand what type of beings we face, so here is a description of the these alien beings.

Aliens Are Extremely Powerful and are not Indigenous to Mars:

These beings apparently do not use space craft to travel from one galaxy to another. The creatures can fly at speeds that defy even what we have imagined in our Science Fiction genre. They transcend not only our Science but our entire thought process. Firearms and weapons based on projectile technology are useless against them in every way. These creatures engage in one activity that we know of and that would be killing other life forms. They take over entire planets within days and completely exterminate all life, regardless of the type of life. They even destroy microbial life in their planet smashing endeavors. They consider any life other than their own, parasitic. We cannot defeat them in any conventional way. There will be no out thinking them or no cleaver movie like hero that comes up with a last minute solution. The creatures launched their attack from Mars, but have told foreign leaders that they do not inhabit Mars, in fact, these creatures do not dwell on planets, they simple wipe them clean of life. Foreign leaders have said that these creatures answered all of their questions because they knew that we were all defenseless.

The Question that saved other Nations of the World:

According to the five Nation report, a question was finally asked of the leading alien. It appears that their one weakness is our one human strength. These creatures must tell the truth! They cannot be defeated but they also cannot tell a lie! One leader asked the being: So, you cannot be defeated? The leader responded with a sadistic grin, No! Then, according to the codified report, a leader stood up and held up the Bible. Can the words of this book defeat you? The alien responded: The words of that book have defeated us already. The leader, who seemed to have knowledge of another time and another place, looked straight into the aliens eyes and proclaimed. “Our Nations are under the protection of our creator, Jesus Christ! Be gone evil warmongers!” The alien looked at the humble leader, who was wiping tears from his eyes, and said: What of the American Nation, do they still hold the words of this book in high esteem? The leader broke down and cried, go ask em!

The aliens are waiting for America to respond: 

There are reports of millions of these creatures hovering above the earth in anticipation of America’s response. The foreign governments of the world have urged President Obama to act accordingly, but as of the pending publishing of this blog, he is still resisting to respond in the only way that will save America. The problem is in what the leader of the aliens is requesting of Obama. The lead alien has said, that America is a light house, and despite its problems, and its past evils, it has been a force for greater good. This good has come from your God, the Christian God, said the alien. The alien went on to say: “Over two hundred years ago, I came to conquer your country and I was met by an old grey haired man. Your modern culture refers to him as a Founding Father. Despite the odds this primitive culture faced against us, I saw the fire of an almighty presence burning within this mans eyes. This man did not fear us. He held your Holy Bible high and proclaimed that America was Founded under the wisdom of these beliefs, and by the divine Providence of its author. I must admit for the first time, I recoiled in fear. I saw that your institutions contained the mark of your almighty creator. I saw the school children using the Bible as a text book in your public schools, and the mark of your creator all over your founding documents. We have returned to your world because we have noticed that most of you have abandoned this creator, is that not correct?”

The alien has graciously given President Obama twenty four hours to respond. After the twenty four hours, the alien says he will completely destroy America, and leave the other nations intact. Other Nations of the world, including nations that are extremely progressive, are wondering what President Obama is waiting for. Obama is going to speak shortly, and when he does, we will have the transcript. In the meantime, this is what Presidential candidates Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton had to say:

Donald Trump:

“Once again other world leaders have taken the bull by the horns and have done what they had to do. If I was your President these aliens would have already been gone! Obama is so afraid to recognize what made America great due to political correctness, that he is risking all of America! Crooked Hillary is just as bad. She is trying to work a deal with the aliens by promising them citizenship if they will vote democrat, and if they will go ahead and destroy those Godless Red States as she calls them. Obama and Hillary have no shame. I am calling on President Obama to now proclaim America a Christian Nation and send these aliens packing!”

Hillary Clinton:

“I want to know what republican leaders have done to make this happen. We know that this is a vast right wing conspiracy, and that these aliens are nothing more than holographic images, being used to undo all the great work our society has done to promote LGBT and other civil rights. When I am elected President, I will work to ban assault weapons and make sure that all of us can use the restrooms of our choice! I have made no deal with aliens as Trump has suggested, because like my position on God, I don’t believe they exist! In my first week of office, I am going to move to ban assault weapons, promote transgender education in our elementary schools, and ban hologram technology, as well as other things I don’t think are protected under the First Amendment!”

We have now obtained a transcript of President Obama’s speech:

President Barack Obama:

“My fellow Americans, we are working hard to make sure that transgender rights are extended into public restrooms across America. We are also working on some gun safety measures with Congress to ensure that guns do not fall into the hands of the wrong people. I am working with Attorney General Loretta Lynch in adopting policies that ensure Muslim Americans are not harassed. In the mean time, the first lady is working on a plan that will guarantee that soft drink vending machines will not be available in our public school systems”.

Reporter Sally Smith: “Mr. President, we have only hours before a super powered group of beings destroy us! Are you going to do what other Nations have done and have suggested that we do, and proclaim America a Christian Nation?”

President Obama: 

“Sally, I appreciate your question, but I’ve explained my position on things like this. Our Nation is diverse. Some people worship Allah, some Christ, while others believe that there is no God. Our Founders were deists, they did not subscribe to this republican propaganda that our Constitution was based upon Christian beliefs”.

Reporter Sally Smith:B-B-But Mr. President, these aliens can only be stopped by this proclamation, the leader has told you so!”

President Obama: 

“Sally, I will not compromise our values because times get tough, fact is, these aliens are misguided. Despite all of their power, they do not understand the importance of diversity”.

Reporter Sally Smith: “Mr. President, I don’t get it, just make the proclamation and save us, the alien said that one of the Founders did it in the past!”

President Obama:

“Sally, do you really believe that story?”

Reporter Sally Smith: “What does it matter what I believe the aliens have said- – –

President Obama:

“I have given you enough time Sally, I have to be fair to other reporters. Tom did you have question?”

Reporter Tom: “Mr. President, if Churches across America fail to perform Gay Marriages or allow transgender people to use the Church restroom of their choice, will you or the Attorney General take steps to correct this violation of human rights?”

President Obama:

“Tom, that is an excellent question. Right now Churches are private institutions, but I have charged the Attorney General to look at this issue, as my administration is always striving to address the important issues of our day”.

End of press conference. 

The World Responds to Obama’s Folly:

Twenty two Nations have offered refuge to Americans following Obama’s reluctance to act to save the American Nation. France, England, India, and various other Nations welcome Americans with open arms. Many Americans are leaving the Country as this blog heads to publication. We have received reports that Obama and most democratic leaders have left the Country to a save haven of their choice. In the meantime, Donald Trump is meeting with the head alien in an attempt to save America and make her great again!  

This Just in! We are saved! Fox News puts Trump on the air!!!!!

“This is ridiculous! I am not going to let Obama or crooked Hillary destroy America with political correctness! To the alien leader! This is America, and I am Donald Trump! Yes, we were founded on Christian principles, and Our God is all powerful! All we gotta do is pray to save our nation from you! So get out of here and I will make America great again! Not only will I restore the economy, but I will shout our Christian heritage from the roof tops!”

And the aliens left our planet peacefully- – –

And that’s my July 4th parody America. There is no alien invasion, other than illegal aliens coming across our border. President Obama did not say the things that are presented in this work of fiction, nor did Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton or any fictional character make any of the statements herein. As you celebrate your Independence day with your friends and family, I hope you will pause to contemplate the benefits of living as a free people, and how each and every day, some politician is stepping upon another founding principle that made us great. If you are not educated on the founding of America, by all means educate yourself, and do not (DO NOT) use progressive (liberal) sources for your education, or clueless Hollywood icons and brain dead rockers. 

God Bless America and Happy 4th of July!

Mark Damon

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *