President Barack Obama asked the following question following the terrorist attack in California. He asked, “What could possibly be the argument for allowing a terrorist suspect to buy a semiautomatic weapon?” I will answer that in all seriousness following the piece I am about to write. I really want to thank the New York Daily News for partially answering President Obama’s question for all Americans, but I think I can do a little better. That’s why I will follow the logic of The New York Daily News, where they call NRA Executive Vice President Wayne La Pierre a terrorist, and expand on that premise with a little piece I call Once Upon A Parody.
I have taken the liberty of creating a No Fly List for suspected terrorists based upon the picture painted by The New York Daily News, a publication that I suspect holds a lot of views just like the current administration. We know at least that they both agree on many aspects of gun control from what both Obama and the New York Daily News have both uttered on more than one occasion. The following list represents in my opinion, what people could be placed on President Obama’s No Fly, No Gun list. I graciously provide addition comments on why they may be on the list!
1. RUSH LIMBAUGH: Sorry Wayne La Pierre, I know how The New York Daily News feels about you, but Rush has been dubbed The Most Dangerous Man in America!
2. WAYNE LA PIERRE: He supports that outdated, misinterpreted document known as the Constitution and that just does not square with our American values.
3. PASTOR JOHN HAGEE: Look, he has an organization called Christians United for Israel, and when you look at Obama’s lukewarm support of fleeing Christian refugees from Syria, and the contempt for the Nation of Israel evident in the recent Iran deal, you wonder why Pastor Hagee is not number 1 on the list!
4. KIRSTEN POWERS: She is supposed to be on the left’s side, but she wrote a book titled: The Silencing, How The Left is Killing Free Speech. What a traitor, you get my drift?
5. CHARLTON HESTON: They know he is deceased but he did play Moses in a big epic movie and he was at the top of the executive ladder at the NRA! They may be afraid he will return.
6. JOHN McCAIN: Yes, many times he seems to be on the side of the left, but the administration just can’t take any chances!
7. SEAN HANNITY. He’s not as bad as Rush Limbaugh but hey, he works for FOX News!
8. DONALD TRUMP: Do we even need to ask why?
9. BEN CARSON: A Black American conservative getting this close to the White House. Are you kidding me?!
10. SARAH PALIN: She makes the list due to her ties with FOX, Sporting ads, her joy of hunting and because they are not sure what she is up to right now!
I understand the Obama administration, the IRS and the entire left wing media are looking at placing whole groups of people and organizations on the list. Here are a few groups and organizations I suspect will probably be on the No Fly, No Gun list.
1. ALL NRA MEMBERS
2. ALL REPUBLICANS
3. ALL CHRISTIANS
4. ALL JEWS
5. ALL OTHER GUN OWNERS AND CONCEALED WEAPONS HOLDERS
6. ALL HUNTERS (EXCEPT AVID HUNTERS LIKE JOHN KERRY)
7. ALL IMMIGRANTS WHO HAVE APPLIED FOR CITIZENSHIP LEGALLY
8. ALL CONSERVATIVES
Josh Earnest, Press Secretary for the Obama Administration, assures us that most Americans will still be able to Fly and purchase a Firearm, only those few suspects on the list above will be prevented from buying a gun. Furthermore, the President is not without compassion, so he has established an unlimited CAN FLY and CAN PURCHASE GUN list to ease the fear of Americans who share our values! The following people and groups and organizations may FLY all they want and have as many GUNS as they want!
1. ALL FOREIGN NATIONALS ENTERING THE USA FROM THE MIDDLE EAST
2. AT LEAST 8% OF AMERICAN MUSLIMS
3. ALL ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS
4. ALL VOTERS WITHOUT ANY ID
5. ALL FORMER FELONS WITH VOTING RIGHTS RESTORED
6. ALL CURRENT FELONS WITHOUT ID (DON’T KNOW WHO THEY ARE WITHOUT ID)
7. ALL DEMOCRATS (CHECK KIRSTEN POWERS SOMEONE)
8. REAL TERRORISTS WILL BE CONSIDERED ON AN INDIVIDUAL BASIS
9. THE ACLU
10. ALL LIBERALS (SOME EXCEPTIONS APPLY, SEE NUMBER 7)
11. ANY MIDDLE EASTERNER WORKING LATE IN THE GARAGE, RECEIVING MULTIPLE PACKAGES LATE AT NIGHT, WHILE CONSTANTLY LOOKING OVER HIS/HER SHOULDER OR AT HIS NEIGHBORS HOUSES.
There you have it my fellow Americans, a hard glimpse into the Obama administration’s hard line on terrorism and how they intend to protect the American People.
The preceding Blog Post was a Parody. No such person is on any such NO FLY LIST, nor has White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest made any comments in association with the Parody above. All individuals and organizations listed are part of this fictitious Blog Post in the spirit of Political Satire. The role of the IRS and President Barack Obama are also fictitious in regards to this Parody. All Content is fictitious other than the fact that the New York Daily News listed Executive Vice President Wayne La Pierre on the cover of their publication as a terrorist.
NOW BACK TO REALITY WITH AN ANSWER TO PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA’S QUESTION, THAT APPEARED BEFORE THE PARODY. I WILL ANSWER MY PRESIDENT DIRECTLY IN AN OPEN LETTER:
Mr. President,
The preceding piece was a Parody but let me explain to you how sometimes parody mirrors real life. The IRS under your administration targeted conservative groups in the recent past. This was widely reported, what did you do to bring justice to this situation sir? Why did you allow former Attorney General Eric Holder to stonewall information in relation to the Fast and Furious investigation? Why are you not pursuing these Islamic terrorists with everything you have sir, as your oath to the Constitution demands? With the information I have provided in this paragraph being widely reported as true, why on earth would any American trust your administration to head a list containing terrorists that you dub as such? With all due respect Mr. President, this lowly blogger does not expect an answer.
NOW TO THE NEW YORK DAILY NEWS:
You think you’re witty don’t you? You are anything but such. Instead of recognizing the EVIL we face, you look for excuses to get your GUN CONTROL agenda initiated. This will not stop ANYONE who views us as directionless infidels and I THINK you know it, and what’s more, I don’t think you care. That’s my opinion when I look at your almost daily diatribes. It’s an easy conclusion to reach. Whether your piece on NRA Vice President was a Parody or it is what you really feel does not matter. What matters is this. You are focused on a man standing up for a Constitutional right, whether you like that right or not, who is constantly lambasted and lampooned by media outlets like you, all the while real savage killers are planning the demise of hundreds, perhaps thousands of AMERICANS. Do you know how to report real news or just vomit based propaganda you have learned under some Reprobate Professor in some pseudo-intellectual institution?
AMERICA:
Let me tell you America, I hope you are paying attention. Open YOUR eyes!
Gotta go, gonna watch the candidates debate about the same things over and over, wondering which ones really mean what they say, and which ones mean it for the day.
God Bless America,
Mark Damon